Today, Mr Carson will show you the guide to talking crap.
You might think talking crap is very easy,
and indeed it is very easy ==
But you will need some techniques to do this,
or else you will end up like a sohai talking nonsense.
[p/s: Talking crap is not talking nonsense. Later in this post you will learn what's the difference]
You will learn what to talk, when to talk and where to talk.
(Sounds professional, is it? xP)
1. What to talk
You can talk whatever you want, including vulgarities, something off topic and others.
But just remember 1 thing: Talk something that doesn't make sense but make some sense.
Sure you won't know what the hell I'm talking about. Examples will help.
- When somebody insults you, you can send back your regards to their mother by saying something like this:
~Diu niama chao cibai. Niama bo lanjiao. [Correct]
- But if somebody doesn't talk something that insults you or your family, you don't say anything like below:
~Go fuck your own mother la! Pukima! [Wrong]
- When you are shopping with your friend, you can say something liddat:
~Oi, your lanjiao very smelly =D [Correct]
[Now you know what's the difference between talking crap and talking nonsense.
Talking nonsense is talking something completely do not make sense, whereas talking crap is talking something that do not make sense but still make some sense in a certain situation.]
If you still do not understand, go figure out yourself. I'm too lazy to explain anymore. xD
2. When to talk
Basically, you can talk whenever you feel like talking.
You can talk with your friends when you feel like it, or when you are bathing, or when you are sleeping.
You can keep on talking non-stop until your friend cannot tahan you anymore or your parents slap you on the face kao kao.
But either way, you can still keep on talking. x)
3. Where to talk
You can talk wherever you want except for formal occasions.
- At Najib's birthday party:
~Najib is a sohai!
Imagine what will the aftermath be.
But you can talk on those not so formal occasions.
- At your friend's birthday party:
~Happy birthday! Eh, your lanjiao very nice.
Your friend will either laugh or slap you on the back.
But make sure you don't talk with a small gas friend!
Ok, after you understand what I'm saying,
you'll be a expert on talking crap in no time.
If you want to learn how to talk crap, be sure to fully understand the statements above and practise always.
-END-
[Disclaimer again: This is not for real. Just for entertainment only and to kill the author's time.]
